Question:

What can you do if you discover that your teenager is doing cyber sex?

Answer from Kids and Media’s Director:

Digital media creates many new opportunities and potential challenges. My first advice: Talk together! And my advice to you: Be good at listening and don’t be too sudden to tell him or her off. Agree on a few rules regarding teenage experimentation and behaviour on the Internet.

As you (and your teenager) obviously have experienced, the Internet, web cameras and mobile phones can be used for sexual experimentation. A potential challenge and danger connected to online sexual experimentation is the simple fact that images, video clips and various statements or information might be abused by, for example, being distributed to other people/strangers. This is a good reason to be very cautious when it comes to cyber sex. I strongly recommend that you and your teenager talk about this subject. Sexual images and video clips are often spread very quickly when they get in the wrong hands.

In addition, I advise you to find out who your teenager meets online: Is it someone they have met in real life or is it someone they have met on the Internet? There is a great risk that people you meet online aren’t the same persons they claim or seem to be.

I also want to encourage you to talk about limits: What are the limits for what is acceptable/OK? What should you do if the other person/your partner pushes you to go further?

As well as this I want to encourage you to invite your teenager to talk to you if he or she experiences something unpleasant, no matter how embarrassing it might be. Children and young people need tolerant and big-hearted adults who are there for them and who are clear in their attitudes, and this will never change – I believe.

Related articles on kidsandmedia.co.uk:

How can I get to talk with my teenagers about porn?

Talk to your teenager about porn

Good advice on pictures on the Internet